1st date with Elsa - 7 Sep

Tuesday, 7 Sep, and I had a lunch & movie date with Elsa, my elder goddaughter, our first date by ourselves. We had lunch at Secret Recipe at Plaza Sing. She had Nasi Goreng with Satay and Earl Grey tea with a packet of sugar. I had Grilled Chicken with Mushroom Sauce and White Coffee to go with it. The meal was about $40. The tix for the movie Sinkhole was about $17. The salted popcorn, two ice-lemon teas (one for Elsa and another for Illa) and my latte was about $16. The parking was $7. In all, the budget for our outing was roughly $80 but the memories for the day, priceless. Elsa introduced me to her favourite Sword Shop called Caesar. She showed me her current read called "Ten types of humans". I gave her a prayer journal and just simply enjoyed her company. 

I pray for Elsa to grow to be a God-fearing, God-loving lady who glorifies God in all her ways. In Jesus' name I pray, amen. Lord, give ST the wisdom to lead and guide her. I pray for Illa to grow well in the household together with ST and Elsa - may she continue to enjoy the favour and love of her mum and sister all the days of her life. 

September Holidays

The one week September Holidays has officially started for school age kids. Tomorrow I have a date with my elder goddaughter Elsa, to catch the Korean disaster movie "Sinkhole", picked by her. We will watch it at Plaza Sing at 1:50pm, a Tuesday afternoon, my day off. 

Today being a Monday, I normally have Advancement Meetings with Jon, Aitee, EK and Josh but as the past weekend was a MG Ministry Weekend - both Jon and EK were kept busy with their MGs. Jon decided to give our team (and himself) a break this morning. We will meet this Thursday instead.  Josh only has 11 more work days with EAST, his last day being 17 Sep. Counting down to his last official day - will miss him for sure. Pray that he stays contactable as an EAST Volunteer.  =)

Yesterday, I had a very lovely, encouraging and edifying afternoon at home with Lu & JF over chicken pies and prayers. It was JF's first visit to my home and he gifted me a box of yummy low sugar egg custard mooncakes. Lucy gifted me a beautiful cushion cover with the picture of two happy children and a hedgehog staring at some fishes in a Happy Kids Aquarium. We had conversations about resourcing our regional partners with teaching materials and what JF has been up to with the BSF Men's Chinese Bible Study School Programme. We also caught up with JF's recent health scare of an unexplained heart attack. It was just an engaging time of catching up. I enquired about Wen Tin's friend who knew sign language and wanted to teach. That was something Lu could have input in, so I was glad.

We ended our time praying for the different issues we had conversations over, and prayed for the different friends who could not join us that afternoon too. God has been faithful in keeping us close to Him. Pray that we will continue to keep faithfully walking with God.

End of August, we had a family birthday celebration for sis at Bishan - with Kor, Binny, Josh joining in the celebrations. Jie ordered a keto friendly Ondeh Ondeh birthday cake and a keto friendly chocolate cake. We also had take-outs from Belo, Amos' restaurant along Upper Thomson Road. On Jie's actual birthday on 2 Sep, she took mum out for lunch at Open Farm Community Farm & Restaurant, and at night, three of us went to The Majestic restaurant at Marina One, near the Marina Bay Financial Centre (MBFC) area.  

By the way, just two nights ago, I have sold away my Rainbow Vaccum Cleaner for $500. Mum was a little upset as she believes I have made a bad financial decision for selling it at such a low price. But it was taking up space and I was hardly using it - much like a white elephant - so I thought it might serve a better purpose in another household. That's that. In the first place, it was probably an impulse buy that I should not have bought. An expensive lesson learnt - I hope. 

On forming intimate relationships

I wonder often how it is that even though I have quite a number of close friends, yet I have never really been able to have formed a strong intimate relationship with just one guy for a prolonged period of time. Are there still parts of me that still require healing from? Is it because I do not love and accept all of me, which is why I am not able to love and accept all of another person?

In any case, I can only hope and pray that in time to come, I will be more healed from the different traumas I have encountered in my life and I will be able to love people more fully, especially a special someone that God, if He so desire, may send my way, someday, soon. Haha.  

On Intimacy - notes from a lecture by Roy Tan

The transformation of being an intimate person rests on the work of the Holy Spirit. Whoever has my commandments and keeps them is the One who loves me. It is more important in intimacy, how the other person feels, rather than how I feel. Do not be ego-centric and think only of ourselves. Intimacy is brought about by the gospel. Brokenness and humility affects intimacy. If the Son of Man can do nothing on His own, what more for each of us? God putting on flesh is as deep as broken humility can get. A fish swims because it is a fish. Live out compassion, kindness, humility. Learn not to hide but speak the truth in love. Venture out and speak the truth in love. "This is my Son. Listen to Him." Sometimes our past holds us back. God is very specific when he brings closure to our past. 

Be broken and humble. Be confident in our new identity in Christ and don't hide.

Listen to Christ. Imitate Him in dealing with sin in our lives and our relationships.

Ann's Passing on 28 Jul

Since my last entry on Nicolas' passing, my former EAST colleague Ann Lim also went home to the Lord, on 28 July. She has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer for over a year, since April 2020 or so. Her condition got more serious in August when she formed a whatsapp group for friends to pray for her which I was part of. My last telephone conversation with Ann was sometime in March or April 2021 before her condition deteriorated so badly that she became monosyllabic and finally was bed-ridden and non-communicative too. She was admitted into St Andrew's Community Hospital in June 2021. Those were her last two months of her final journey on earth. 

We really never know when God will take back the people He puts into our lives, and Ann is just one such person. A loving friend, a big sister-in-Christ and someone who loves the Lord dearly. I can recall how I was the first person to welcome her to EAST at the EAST Library at Dorset Road and I remember having a farewell lunch with her together with Jonathan and Karen at Sumire Yakitori Restaurant at Bugis Junction. In between our first and last meetings, we shared conversations, jokes, meals and EAST retreats at Changi Village Hotel. Her journey on earth is done and I am certain that she is now at rest with her Beloved. I never thought I would miss her as much as I do now. Lord, I wished I had loved her more. 

Meanwhile, Lord, help me to love those around me more, while they are on earth.    

Nic's Passing & Other Things

The day after I wrote about JF's heart attack, I received news of Nic's passing - Amy's husband in Adelaide. Amy sent me a text on FB messenger in Chinese describing him being found already unconscious in the church toilet - in fact dead, likely passed on due to a heart attack. That happened last Tuesday. Amy is coping with suddenly being a young widow and single mum of two young boys aged 5 (Josiah) and 2 (Joshua). Last Friday, I had written a post about Nic but YK had told me to pull out the post and reschedule it two weeks later. She also informed me to get Amy's permission before posting. In the end, with Joshua's added advice to really wait for Amy's reply, I got a negative to post from her. The post was totally dumped.  I guess even though I had worked at it, I was glad not to publish it as it would have gone against Amy's wishes at this juncture where she is already at immense shock, sorrow and suffering. 

Lord, why do you give each of us such different trials and tribulations to go through in life? Ultimately, to test the genuineness of our faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and bring all glory back to You when all's well that ends well? If not here on earth, then till we meet You face to face in heaven? Most of all, to show us that Your love is unfailing even when life fails us? We have a living Hope in a risen Saviour. That our faith when tested will come forth purer than gold.

Today, I connected with Tomo O on FB Messenger and she informed me her mum passed away last May, a Buddhist, while her dad has passed away a few years ago. I pray for this dear sister to stand strong in her faith in You, Lord. My dad too has passed away a few years ago. My mum is nearly 80 years old. I could very much in a similar state as her at anytime, except that she is an only child, while I still have two siblings who care for me very much, and I have close relatives too. But actually I am thinking, perhaps Tomo does have strong faith in You, O Lord. She totally relies on You now - You are her everything. Perhaps, while I think she may be in a pitiful state or condition, she may not be because she has You - You are all she needs. She is a much stronger lady than I. It is either that or I should connect with her more and show her God's unconditional love more. Pray for God's guidance. 

Kinkin has posted the Podcast which I recorded last week. It apparently went on 6 different platforms. Happy to be part of the podcast. :)

Come 19 July, I will be taking Casey and Roy's Shepherd Care class. I hope J will sign up for it too. Lol. But I really dunno if he will. He is like so non-committal to stuff... I get the feeling he probably will not. Just my gut I guess so I don't want to get too much of my hopes up. Ah wells... will update in due time.

Sally, Meirong and I caught up on a Zoom call on Tuesday night, just two nights ago. That was a really good catch-up session for us three. 

Cousin Andrew's 61st

Yesterday was cousin Andrew's 61st birthday, 1 July 2021, and I just got to send him his birthday greetings right before midnight, reminded by EH's greetings to him round about half past eleven. 

The second half of 2021 started rather unceremoniously with yet another Advancement Team meeting via Zoom in the morning at 9:30am.

Can't quite believe that I am into the second half of 2021 already. Did a podcast recording for Kin Kin last night. Looking forward to the completed podcast by this weekend. :)

JF had Heart Attack!

Update: JF had a heart attack two weeks ago! Shocking news to me! But the good news is that he has no clogged artery and hopefully the MRI that he goes for next month will reveal some underlying cause. Most of all, all our NIECF friends and I prayed for his complete recovery. 

Today, what prompted me to contact JF was because JW had lunch with CT. Somehow, whether that was a spontaneous lunch outing or a pre-planned one did not matter. I was just jealous of them spending one on one time together. I reckon I am always jealous when I am not getting JW's attention as and when he is or should be available.  Seriously, why am I behaving in such a weird, selfish, inconsiderate, manner when he is a junior staff working with a senior staff like me? I really need to give him more space to get to know other EAST staff, whether they are of the opposite gender, or younger and prettier than me! haha! He is simply a junior, a younger brother who is 20 yrs younger than me! There is simply no line that we can, should ever cross with each other other than that we are siblings in Christ. 

It also prompted me to text JR and A. Have yet to receive any responses from them both. I asked if they have taken their vaccine jabs. But, oh well, just out of curiosity and concern. Taking my jealousy to the Lord, and asking Him to purify me. Make me more like Jesus.  Jesus, were you ever jealous? Jealous of me spending time frivolously with others when You wanted me to spend more time with You? Maybe, this is the lesson of the day for me. 

When I am jealous of my beloved spending time away from me, I am reminded of myself (as my Lord's beloved) spending time away from my Lord with frivolous activities or people I should have no business with. In the meantime, I need to guard my heart and be very careful whom I call as my beloved. If it is not the right person whom the Lord desires, it will only lead to yet another heartbreak in due time. So, guard my heart, for out of it springs the issues of life.  

Joyous June

June is normally a joyous month as it is a break from the usual routine of the academic calendar at EAST.  I remember having gone on holidays with papa, mummy and sis in May/June right after the Commencement, many years back, to Hokkaido, Japan. It was a tour package type of holidays but still it was a memorable family holidays for us four. The only downside was that Kor and B were not with us, thus we never actually went on a full family holiday together as far as I can recall. That is perhaps my sole regret while Papa was still alive but it was never up to me to decide or control. Even for Taiyiyi's 80th birthday cruise to Redang Island, Kor and B could not join us as it was too near to B's expected date of delivery by then. The cruise was in September and she was due to deliver in early October 2013. In another two years, we will be celebrating Taiyiyi's 90th birthday, Lord willing, on 16 October. Hopefully, we can make it yet another grand celebration by then. 

June was also the month I visited Mongolia back in 2010. That was more than 11 years ago by now! Incredible! Time just goes by so quickly. That amazing Mongolian trip was a highlight of trusting God for funds, for fun, for friendships made. Actually June/July has also always been a time for those ACTC conferences to happen. We shelved last year's conference and I am not quite sure what is happening for this year as yet. Things are kinda a blur for me these days to be honest. The Covid-19 pandemic has kinda messed up my head a little. 

But June turned somewhat less joyous since five years ago, since papa departed the dawn of 17 June 2016. That morning, I was still sound asleep in Kandy, Sri Lanka, having celebrated Uda & D's wedding the night before. Hwei Wah was with me when I received the phone call from sis about dad passing on. She helped me book an air ticket home. I was kinda in a panic mode then. Grief has not truly set in. Perhaps guilt set in first, guilt for not being by papa's side when he departed. Still, five years on, and the guilt has dissipated. The grief lingers, somewhat, in the quieter moments of life. Still, I can look towards my Heavenly Papa who loves me perfectly and knows what is best for me. I still have my mummy dearest with me and I definitely should not take her for granted for I do not know for how long more I will have her with me, or me with her.  One thing I know, life is unpredictable, even as God is fully in control. Trust Him, I must. 

In Loving Memory of FF

My dear cousin died a shocking death on 7 May 2021, due to cardiac arrest. Definitely none of us were prepared for her passing. Mum and I last tried contacting her on 23 April on her birthday. Unbeknownst to us, that was the day that she found out she was Covid-19 positive. She did not want many people to know about the news, so she had kept it from us. Even though eventually she recovered from Covid-19 and was discharged from the hospital, her body has probably been weakened by it. So when she was readmitted to the hospital again, her heart gave way a few days later and she passed on. 

That was the most shocking, and devastating news in May of 2021. It wasn't that long ago that TF has left us, and now FF.

KH's 52nd Birthday

Today is KH's 52nd Birthday and we had an advanced birthday celebration for him on Sunday (mum, me, B, J and KH). EH could not join us due to the 2 visitors max restrictions during this Heightened Alert measures period which should end by 13 June. 

May went by so quickly that I did not even managed to put in a blog post! Elsa celebrated her 13th birthday on 19 May and Alice and I sent her macarons and a cake. Can't quite believe that she's already a teenager. Too fast. Also, Lu had a milestone 50th birthday bash on 15 May. I sent a delivery of fresh bouquet with some sweet pastels florals and also picked out a necklace with pressed flowers covered in a glass casing. As for BY, on her 47th birthday, I had a bundle of pink baby's breath and a cake for her. I just sent the same bundle to PC on 8 June. It was a visual feast but I heard that the cake was not yummy at all. :P

Aside from all the birthday celebrations, EAST had Thanksgiving and Envisioning Events on 5 June which went quite well. We managed to raise close to 50k. Still a bit off the mark of $2.5mil but some way there, so definitely a cause for thanksgiving!