Updates about K, one year on

Recently, I came across a group pic taken with K, YL, C and LL outside Universal Studios, over a decade ago. Such a lot have occurred in all our lives over the years but I think, especially so in the past year for K. She had given birth to a baby girl Joyance with abnormalities and the baby passed away in less than half a year I think. But I believe her marriage with her husband Chin Khoon (they just celebrated their 2nd wedding anniversary yesterday) is the stronger for the recent trials they had been through together. God has a mysterious way of working out everything for the good of those who love Him and are called by His name.

Fountain Pen Refills

I spent a good half an hour looking for my fountain pen's refills at 1am last night. Alas, I had no recollection of where I kept them. I pray that I will find them soon as my fountain pen has run dry.

Edit (4 Apr): I went to buy 3 packs of refills in three colours in the end, using a $15 BHG voucher.

Shared Mum's Braised Pork Recipe

I posted mum's cooking on my IG tonight and MeiYen asked for mum's braised pork recipe. Interestingly, mum was ever ready to share her secret recipe with my friend in the US. Therefore, I simply typed up the recipe in my IG post's reply to her. Hopefully, MeiYen gets to try it out and I do too, someday!

Stonewalled

In recent days, I feel that I have been stonewalled by B and D.

The last text response I received from B was, "I am now overseas." Fair enough that I found out he went on a diving trip but he was able to share pics with uncle L and have chats with uncle L but not me. Thinking back, with regards to our online mobile communication, I might have offended him by sending too many pics and clips that his phone memory could not handle and due to the manner in which he communicated/threatened to leave the chat, I left the chat group first. Also, he gave me some discount pamphlet which I had passed on to EK and I do not know if he felt offended by that or not. Perhaps he just need time to sort out his own time and space and emotions. Likewise, I should do that. It is good for me to be detached from him, before any deeper bonds are formed.

Meanwhile, D and I have not been able to meet up regularly for lunch this year anymore. Partly, due to the fact that she is working at her father's office and her hours are no longer as flexible. Also, due to the developing COVID-19 situation since 23 January, I have been going home for lunch. It was due to me calling off an agreed upon evening appointment, due to mum and sis's worries and concerns because of the COVID-19 situation, that left D fuming. Since then, she has ignored my texts. Perhaps, it is also time for me to re-evaluate my friendship with her. Good time for me to detach myself from deeper bonds with her too.

Perhaps it is time in my life to make space for more positive people who will be more up-lifting, inspiring, people I look up to, rather than to be around people whom I know "sorta admire" me for one reason or another. Better yet, I hope to find relationships that are mutually engaging and up-lifting and less one-sided. I guess in life, it may never be quite possible to have relationships without a trace of any abusive traits, partly because I may be triggered to be the abusive party or I may trigger the other person to be abusive. But, I still must try to be Christlike and find people who aspire to be like Jesus to me, so I can be like Jesus to them too. Even if my friends do not aspire to be Christlike, I need to love them still, no? But at certain junctures, I need space, to avoid getting unnecessarily wounded or hurt. I need to learn to be wise with my limited time and energy.

Dec, Jan, Feb

Just realised that I had not a single post since December before my post in March. I missed my usual Birthday Post, Christmas Post, New Year's Post. I wonder what happened?

Nonetheless, I had a very lovely birthday tea at the newly refurbished Raffles Hotel with mum on my actual birthday, my 45th. I met up with V who treated me to a very sumptuous, scrumptious and all round yummillicious Cantonese set lunch for two at Yan, a Cantonese restaurant at the National Gallery. It was an exquisite lunch experience which we both enjoyed tremendously. I shared the experience with C who then went on to give her dad a birthday treat at the same restaurant a couple of weeks later. Even though I was glad she was also able to enjoy a good lunch with her dad, I felt a strange sense of a unique experience being imitated or copied. Perhaps on the positive note, imitation is the highest flattery. Or could it be that God is teaching me to be 1) more big-hearted 2) more discerning who I share my experiences with 3) both.

Well, then V treated me to a baking class at ABC cooking studios near Christmas as a Christmas gift. When I shared pics of the chantilly snow white cake I baked, B requested for the recipe. I was happy to share, although she wanted a PDF version rather than a screenshot of it. Oh well, I try my best to please a good buddy. Also, I felt a bit bad that I got to go for it, but she did not, as she wanted to attend the class with her teenage son but somehow mixed up the dates. I wonder why I feel bad. I should not feel responsible for other people's mistakes but sometimes I do. Too responsible for the wrong things.

During year end, my friend IT and I had a sleepover in JB. Oh, before that, Lu had a sleepover at Meadow Spring and it was really lovely. She read me "The Tailor of Gloucester" by Beatrix Potter as a bedtime story. We were both twinning in Totoro tees as sleepwear as well. It was just wonderful to be able to have heart to heart talk with a dear sister and confidante in Christ. Someone wiser, kinder, more Christlike than me. Someone I look up to. :) Someone I'll pray the best for with all of my heart too. But I digress. The sleepover in JB with IT was great fun too. We had coconut drinks with my mum by a roadside stall near my home and we went to a new mall near my home too. Best part was she was not intimidated by Brownie at all. :)

Jan went by pretty quickly as I recalled. I entered the year 2020 together with G and YL again at Faith Methodist Church's watchnight service. We had New Year's Day lunch at the cafeteria of Seletar Airport. Some local indian muslim cuisine we had. I think G had muturbak for the first time in her life! The kumpung fried rice was so good that both G and YL decided to dapao back that day. Lunch was C+G (Cheap and Good)!

CNY came along in the end of Jan as did the threat of Coronavirus which soon became known as COVID-19. By Feb, I requested to Work From Home for a week, till things calmed down a bit. And it is already the first week of March now! How fast!

Be with someone

I came across this quote, "Be with someone
who will sit with you and say, "Let's fix this" instead of
being a child and ignoring you.

Someone came to mind straightaway. Someone who has been ignoring me.

I really should take this as a sign that this someone is "being a child" and is not someone I should be with.