Update: JF had a heart attack two weeks ago! Shocking news to me! But the good news is that he has no clogged artery and hopefully the MRI that he goes for next month will reveal some underlying cause. Most of all, all our NIECF friends and I prayed for his complete recovery.
Today, what prompted me to contact JF was because JW had lunch with CT. Somehow, whether that was a spontaneous lunch outing or a pre-planned one did not matter. I was just jealous of them spending one on one time together. I reckon I am always jealous when I am not getting JW's attention as and when he is or should be available. Seriously, why am I behaving in such a weird, selfish, inconsiderate, manner when he is a junior staff working with a senior staff like me? I really need to give him more space to get to know other EAST staff, whether they are of the opposite gender, or younger and prettier than me! haha! He is simply a junior, a younger brother who is 20 yrs younger than me! There is simply no line that we can, should ever cross with each other other than that we are siblings in Christ.
It also prompted me to text JR and A. Have yet to receive any responses from them both. I asked if they have taken their vaccine jabs. But, oh well, just out of curiosity and concern. Taking my jealousy to the Lord, and asking Him to purify me. Make me more like Jesus. Jesus, were you ever jealous? Jealous of me spending time frivolously with others when You wanted me to spend more time with You? Maybe, this is the lesson of the day for me.
When I am jealous of my beloved spending time away from me, I am reminded of myself (as my Lord's beloved) spending time away from my Lord with frivolous activities or people I should have no business with. In the meantime, I need to guard my heart and be very careful whom I call as my beloved. If it is not the right person whom the Lord desires, it will only lead to yet another heartbreak in due time. So, guard my heart, for out of it springs the issues of life.
