On forming intimate relationships

I wonder often how it is that even though I have quite a number of close friends, yet I have never really been able to have formed a strong intimate relationship with just one guy for a prolonged period of time. Are there still parts of me that still require healing from? Is it because I do not love and accept all of me, which is why I am not able to love and accept all of another person?

In any case, I can only hope and pray that in time to come, I will be more healed from the different traumas I have encountered in my life and I will be able to love people more fully, especially a special someone that God, if He so desire, may send my way, someday, soon. Haha.  

On Intimacy - notes from a lecture by Roy Tan

The transformation of being an intimate person rests on the work of the Holy Spirit. Whoever has my commandments and keeps them is the One who loves me. It is more important in intimacy, how the other person feels, rather than how I feel. Do not be ego-centric and think only of ourselves. Intimacy is brought about by the gospel. Brokenness and humility affects intimacy. If the Son of Man can do nothing on His own, what more for each of us? God putting on flesh is as deep as broken humility can get. A fish swims because it is a fish. Live out compassion, kindness, humility. Learn not to hide but speak the truth in love. Venture out and speak the truth in love. "This is my Son. Listen to Him." Sometimes our past holds us back. God is very specific when he brings closure to our past. 

Be broken and humble. Be confident in our new identity in Christ and don't hide.

Listen to Christ. Imitate Him in dealing with sin in our lives and our relationships.

Ann's Passing on 28 Jul

Since my last entry on Nicolas' passing, my former EAST colleague Ann Lim also went home to the Lord, on 28 July. She has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer for over a year, since April 2020 or so. Her condition got more serious in August when she formed a whatsapp group for friends to pray for her which I was part of. My last telephone conversation with Ann was sometime in March or April 2021 before her condition deteriorated so badly that she became monosyllabic and finally was bed-ridden and non-communicative too. She was admitted into St Andrew's Community Hospital in June 2021. Those were her last two months of her final journey on earth. 

We really never know when God will take back the people He puts into our lives, and Ann is just one such person. A loving friend, a big sister-in-Christ and someone who loves the Lord dearly. I can recall how I was the first person to welcome her to EAST at the EAST Library at Dorset Road and I remember having a farewell lunch with her together with Jonathan and Karen at Sumire Yakitori Restaurant at Bugis Junction. In between our first and last meetings, we shared conversations, jokes, meals and EAST retreats at Changi Village Hotel. Her journey on earth is done and I am certain that she is now at rest with her Beloved. I never thought I would miss her as much as I do now. Lord, I wished I had loved her more. 

Meanwhile, Lord, help me to love those around me more, while they are on earth.