December Birthdays

Last night, I had a lovely time at L and Barb's home in Eunos celebrating's birthday together with Keith, Jeannette, Raymund and Lut. We had a feast of roast beef, baked ham, smoked salmon, and roasted veggies along with a home-baked cheesecake by Barbs. 

I had a very lovely time of fellowshipping with them although upon reflection, I probably should have refrained from talking about work matters so much during the birthday celebration dinner.

Following that, I picked L up from Marymount MRT station close to 9pm. It worked out well as we had a good three hours of conversation before retiring for the night. 

Perhaps because the conversations the night before was pretty intense for me, I had not sleep very well and woke up slightly before 5. I need more sleep and gonna get some more. Goodnight.

I had already wished YL a happy birthday. Tmw will be WT's birthday. 14th is Dillon's and 15th is David's. I recall the 16th to be Sofina's. What a lot of birthdays to celebrate in December indeed!

Blast from the Past

On Sunday that just passed, my sis dug out some old pics of hers that had my supervisor J in them! He was part of the farewell contingent who sent my sister off at the airport 35 years ago along with his wife (then girlfriend or perhaps just a good friend!)  and my sis whatsapped the pics to me. Just how small can this world be? And can it be that I had met my now supervisor 35 years ago when I was a 10 year old girl?! Inconceivable! Haha! Anyways, just thought I'd record this weird fact down.

1st Post in December

I did not realise that my first post in December would take place past midnight on a Saturday night. Theoretically speaking, it is a Sunday morning. But it really should not surprise me. I write best at night when all is quiet except my thoughts. Mum is fast asleep. Tomorrow she will be heading over to sis' home. Earlier this morning, mum and I had a very lovely brunch sharing a fluffy pancake with mangoes at Fluff Stack cafe at level two of Northpoint. Following that, we had lontong, claypot chicken rice and a bowl of chendol as well. We were both pretty stuffed. I met up with WT for coffee at Holland V at a new cafe joint called Arabica. Adelina spotted me and she was with Amos, Decky and their helper. I had a brief exchange with them before heading back to WT for our catch-up. The funny thing about catching up with WT is that I will usually have a lack of enthusiasm in wanting to catch-up but end up enjoying it after all. :P  

WT is usually brutally honest with me about her thoughts and judgments. I know that her forthrightness is her strength and also the sincerity of her friendship. I truly value her friendship all these years and her companionship. I am aware she values me as a friend too. Our birthdays are just five days apart and we were borned in the same hospital. But our personalities are rather dissimilar even though we have been each other's confidants since we were teenagers. 

I will be meeting her on 16 Dec, a day after I meet EL on 15 Dec to have a birthday celebration. On 17 Dec, I am expecting the Advancement Team to have another mini-celebration (or not... I'm not sure), and my actual birthday on the 18th... I have not decided what exactly to do this year... just like what 2020 has been, a year of uncertainty. On the 21st, I will have lunch at Irene's and on 22nd, I will have dinner with Imel. On 28th, I will meet BY & PJ for lunch. But prior to these, next week on the 11th, I have Lewis' birthday dinner to attend and a sleepover to host for Lu also on the 11th, followed by the gathering for the girls (GP, YL & G) on the 13th.  I think I have to start saying NO to all other engagements NOW.  My social calendar in December is looking too full for me to handle already...  Not forgetting Sarah's visit on the 8th, next Tuesday.  I certainly do not want to overextend myself in my favouritest month of the year. #themostwonderfultimeoftheyear 

November passing in a flash

Not too long ago, I was counting down to the last two months of the year. But in a blink of an eye, 20 days have just gone by. 

On Tuesday, I had a very lovely French dining lunch experience with EL at St Regis. Thanks to my sis' suggestion because of the Amex Platinum card deal of 1-for-1 mains. We proceeded to Cedele at Wheelock for coffee and tea. I had a hot latte and she had blissful berries tea. She updated me with her work happenings. Mainly how she handled a young colleague who seemed mentally/emotionally unstable, a young lady in her late 20s, 27 to be precise. 

Personally, because of what I had gone through in my 20s and early 30s, bouts of depression and two hospitalisations, I have a lot of empathy and compassion for people who act out in uncharacteristic ways. I believe it is often not because they wanted to behave badly but perhaps due to some childhood trauma or emotional issues they were facing that had caused them to act out. 

It is getting way past my bedtime. I had a tiff with sis just last night which kinda explained why I am having a harder time sleeping, besides having to work on a media posting. 

Lord, grant me sweet sleep, I pray. Goodnight.

Nephew Josh Wong turned 7 at Fullerton Hotel

B arranged a birthday afternoon tea celebration for Josh at Fullerton Hotel for his 7th birthday. It was quite a dainty affair. Lol. We were seated at two separate tables of three pax due to the Covid-19 restrictions. Still, it was pretty memorable. That happened in early October.

Chilli Crab & P.S. Cafe for Guat's Bday Celebration

This year for Guat's birthday celebration, YL and I had chilli crabs at Jumbo with her and a piece of chocolate velvet cake with coffee at P.S. Cafe. It was a fun and memorable girls' night out on 25 Oct, her birthday eve. Her SCGS bestie Winnie from Melbourne ordered a MSW durian cake to be delivered to her home, all the way from down under! That really made her day too! Both YL and I felt really happy for her and happy we could celebrate with her!

Catch-Up with A & K

This afternoon, I had a catch-up lunch & coffee with A & K, former co-workers from EAST. We ate at Sumire Japanese restaurant at Bugis Junction, a favourite go-to restaurant when our office was still located at 110 Middle Rd, but it was a first visit for A. Apparently A has left EAST for four years already, and is currently working at St Lukes Eldercare in Tampines. I just learnt there are 22 St Lukes Eldercare centers all over Singapore at this point, in 2020! Indeed, we are an aging nation.

Another interesting and somewhat welcoming piece of news, is that K will be rejoining EAST come January 2021. I do pray for good and better working relationship ahead and good times of fellowship too. For the past month, I have grown rather fond of the new colleague and I am already starting a countdown for the day to say goodbye to him. I feel sad when I think of having to say goodbye in less than a year because I know that time will pass by in a heartbeat and soon, I will be but a passing memory of his young, work life.  He has been a fresh breath of air thus far. :)

In another two weeks, I shall bid Thomas farewell. He is a MDiv TE final year student from EAST and his three years at EAST have passed by in a blink of an eye. He will be returning to HK to do a ThM. I believe Thomas will be a serious bible teacher in the future. Praying for God to lead him and guide him in his future ministry.

ARPC Reopened Today

After a good half a year of being locked down, and watching church services online. It was thoroughly refreshing to be back in ARPC @ Adam for a live church service this Sunday morning with familiar churchgoers like Nick Tse, Doris Ng, David and Evelyn to name a few. I was also pleasantly surprised that my new colleague Josh and his family, parents and younger sis Hannah were seated a row behind me. It was nice to have a chat with his dad Eric after the service and say hello to his sis. I saw his beautiful and elegantly dressed mum whom I heard does accounting but did not have the opportunity to converse with her. For lunch, Doris and I went to Adam Road Food Center. Nic was there with a few brothers. I had roasted chicken rice set with a braised egg and Doris had an egg prata. We proceeded to Mac's for desserts where I had yuzu cream cheese pie and a choco ice cream cone and Doris had a choco McFlurry. Another highlight from the interactions prior to the start of the morning service was helping Doris make a doc's appointment at Outram Polyclinic because of some chronic pain she has been experiencing in her right inner thigh. I hope to accompany her to her appointment on 27 Oct afternoon, Tue. 

The sermon by Ps Chris this morning was taken from Genesis 20, 21. As I reflect on all he had shared, I remember the story of Abimelech, Sarah and Abraham... How Abraham had told Sarah to say she was a sibling instead of a spouse out of fear of being put to death because of her. Sarah had acceded to his unreasonable demand but God had protected Sarah nonetheless by saving her through giving a dream of revelation to Abimelech. It's amazing how God has chosen Abraham, such a flawed character and fallen man to be the Father of many nations and placed His favour upon him and his descendants. It cause me to come to the understanding that ultimately, when we receive unmerited favour from the Lord, it definitely has nothing to do with us, and everything to do with God, and His chosen, sovereign purposes in this world.

30th Baptism Anniversary & New Colleague

7 October 2020 was my 30th Baptism Anniversary. Thank you, Jesus. I love You, Lord. Thank you also for my new colleague, Joshua Wong. :)

KW's Birthday, Nelson's Birthday & Cousin Peter's 63rd Birthday

August is almost passing by without a single post from me. Today being 30 Aug is KW's birthday. I sent him a birthday greeting, "Don't count your candles. Just enjoy the glow." to which he responded, "Hahaha... thanks. I think better don't have cakes to avoid cholestorel :D" So funny. Nelson and my dear cousin Peter shares the same birthday on 31 Aug, which is tomorrow. Today, being a Sunday, my family is celebrating my sister's birthday in advance in Bishan as her birthday falls on 2 Sep. Mum is preparing her famous prawn mayo salad, fried beehoon, and customary red eggs for her. Sis has ordered a strawberry fresh cream shortcake from Four Leaves Bakery at J8. I should be heading over soon.

Meeting Stan on CMB

Last week on Polling Day, I got matched with a good looking chap called Stan on Coffee Meets Bagel. Over the weekend, we had lotsa fun chatting up with each other over Whatsapp. As I begin to sense that it could turn into something romantic, I informed some close buddies. Quite a few gave me advice against pursuing this relationship namely because we seemed spiritually mismatched. He has not been attending church for ages even as he professed to be a Christian. I wanted to cut communication with him on Sunday night I think but was coax back to resume on Monday morning, or Tuesday. However, by Wednesday night... after I revealed my diabetic condition, our communication again came to a standstill of sorts. Now, he seems to be hesitating. Oh wells. Relationships, even simple friendships can be complicated for me. But never mind, I really should not let it bother me too much. If we chat, we chat. If we don't, it's his loss, not mine.

Update: After I typed this entry, Stan chatted with me and was telling me he was encountering some unsolvable problems at work. He did not go into the details and I did not ask further. Also, as we conversed more I told him upfront that I could not help him out if it had to do with money matters and he sounded frustrated from then onwards, even though he denied he needed help with money. I just had a gut feeling things were dodgy. Actually, I really do not know if I should have given him the benefit of the doubt and more time to explain himself before I had cut off contact with him. But it was quite a swift and decisive move I made that day. Mostly because my buddy BY had her doubts about his good will and she sensed something not right about him as well. I trust my buddy more.

I am updating tonight because I thought of him tonight and I pray all is well with him. Even though I may not be in contact with him, I still wish him well. 25 July

Polling Day

Today is Polling Day in Singapore. I cast my vote in less than 10 minutes. The process was smooth and efficient for me. Unfortunately, there were long queues in many other polling stations around the country. It is almost without a doubt that that PAP will be given a mandate to rule again but the question is the percentage of votes they will garner.

Andrew's 60th

Last night, my cousin Andrew celebrated his 60th birthday and a number of us celebrated with him via Zoom. These Zoom birthday celebrations seem to be the new normal even though the lockdown has loosened up in many places. It is wonderful that many of us relatives from Singapore, and Sydney are able to join them in KL for Andrew's milestone celebration.

Just three years ago, I remember celebrating Peter's 60th at St Regis with a buffet luncheon, and TF was still around at that time. In another two years' time, we will be celebrating MF's 60th. I remember celebrating MF's 50th at Phuket not that long ago. It was really celebrated in style. Milestone birthdays can really be a lot of fun. Memorable occasions when shared with loved ones.

David fang

Started chatting with a 60 year old chap who looked like 40+ or 50+ yesterday, on IG. Not sure if it will last beyond a week. His late wife is a beautiful Australian lady. He has two kids, 19 and 13. His mum is 85. He is currently in Sg. Is 60 years old too old?! Bawahahaha

But I had really liked his description of himself - gentle and meek. :)

2 July. As expected, the chats did not even last beyond two or three days. I just did not really have good vibes and decided to exit, delete and block. Finding a good, trustworthy online connection is certainly more difficult than rocket science, I figured. I have had at least 3-4 encounters online and they all flopped.

But it could be I am not ready to build a connection. I am not entirely sure either. I have a lot of online anxieties, fears and concerns and I tend to overthink things. But because of my past bad experience with P, I'd really rather be safe than sorry in all future interactions online.

Ernest

Saw Ernest's pic come up as a new PAP candidate for the coming election. Excited for him and praying for God's protection upon him and his family in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead. Lord, may You use him mightily for Your glory. Amen.

Update: He is now running in YCK constituency. All the best to him! Trust that he will score a major victory next Friday!

Daphne's 40th yesterday

23 June 2020 was Daphne's 40th milestone birthday. I organised a birthday zoom for her and glad that at least Jeff and Grace showed up! :D

Father, please watch over my dear friends, keep them safe, grant them good health. Especially for Daphne who is starting her 4th decade, walk closely with her and her family, dear Lord.

I thank you for their friendship and love all throughout these years.

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to my Abba Father and my Papa in Abba's presence.

I imagine that the two people who love me the most unconditionally could be having conversations about how my life on earth will pan out to be in the coming days. It is a comforting thought that these two dear ones who are unseen are able to see what the future holds for me. I take comfort in their love for me and that I can totally trust them no matter what happens. This is what I have - childlike faith in my Papas.

I have a hope and a future because of their great and unfailing love for me. I will put my trust in them, and definitely in my beloved Saviour Jesus. Thank you Jesus, for everything.

Dad gone home for 4 years

It's been 4 years. This time 4 years ago, I was in Kandy, Sri Lanka, receiving news of my dad's passing. Dad passed on in the wee hours of the morning after having a sip of water. Sis had held him in her arms. It was at our Bishan flat. At that point of his passing, I was sleeping soundly in Uda's uncle's guesthouse, sharing a room with Hwei Wah. The previous night was Uda and Dush's wedding celebrations. By today, their marriage has fully dissolved due to it being a mis-matched marriage, and Dush marrying under lots of pretences and dishonesty. Well, I am glad for Uda that she is no longer having to deal with the unhappiness that came with the ill-matched marriage. At least in today's world, women have the ability to be financially independent without a husband. As for my dad, I am glad he is no longer suffering physical ailments. I am happy he is home with Jesus. Sure, I miss having dad around. But he has fought the good fight and ran his race of life well. He deserves rest.

There will be times I still tear when I miss him but as time passes, it will get easier.

Eric Pettons and Crypto

On Sunday, I received direct messages in Instagram from Eric Pettons, a follower on my IG and we had some exchanges about cryptocurrency investment. The exchange reminded me that I had some accounts which my brother helped me start. I contacted my brother and deposited another SGD100 into the account which had remained rather dormant. Unfortunately, over the past two days, there seems to be a downward trend despite my brother saying we have to look at it long term. Sigh!

So much for this cryptocurrency investment. That's all.

Mum dyed her hair

It has been at least two months that mum has not dyed her hair. Mum is 78 years old and she has shoulder length hair. The roots of her hair turn white pretty quickly and vastly throughout the past two months while we had the Circuit Breaker in Singapore. Perhaps, the rate of her hair turning white is a normal rate but she had probably used to dye her hair black at least 3-4 weeks once, in JB. Today, mum went to a hairdresser in Bishan who charged her $45 for dye-ing the roots of her hair. Also, the business-minded hairdresser suggested doing highlights for mum's hair to make it look more natural with her top wig. She was naturally inclined to do so as that would make her look more trendy and younger. :)

My mum is a very adorable person, but she is occasionally given to short bursts of temper. I love my mum very much, in spite of her short bursts of temper and all. She bought some durian after her hair session and quickly called me over for a durian session which I thoroughly enjoyed. We shared some of the durians with the helper too. We needed to get rid of the evidence before sis got home, otherwise we would all risk getting nagged by big sis. Funny how big sis is now the authoritarian figure in the household in Bishan. Mum is the paper tiger. :P

Aunty June and Joseph's Birthdays

We had a birthday zoom for Aunty June's 75th birthday on 2 June last week. 2 June was also the first day that things returned to a so-called new normal in Singapore, as the Circuit Breaker ended on 1 June. EH went back to her office that day but she was able to be back home by 6pm to join in the birthday zoom. We had relatives from KL, Sydney, Singapore and Auckland joined in to wish Aunty June a happy birthday.

On June 4, Mei Ling texted us it was her elder son Joseph's 18th birthday. So a spontaneous zoom was set-up by Joey. It was also fun. I didn't realise we had 3 June babies - Aunty June, Joseph Chan and my bro, in the extended family. :D

E down with Dengue

Since last Wednesday, E has been having fever. Last Wednesday, it was as high as 40.2 degrees Celsius. It was up and down for five days and she went for a blood test on Sunday to confirm that she was suffering from dengue fever, as she started showing spots of red on her arms as well. Illary started coming down with fever on Saturday as well. Likely to be having dengue too. It seems like a crack outside the walls of ST's flat had water seeped through and is a likely breeding ground for Aedes mosquitoes, the carriers of Dengue fever. Also, this seems to be E's second episode. Last July, she was also hospitalised due to fevers and some red spots but no traces of dengue was found in her so the doctors' prognosis was viral infection back then.

Praying for ST and the two girls to recover from this bout of health crisis. Lord, please have mercy upon this family. Amen.

My bro's 51st birthday

Today is my big brother's 51st birthday. But my brother is not one who fusses about his birthday. Nonetheless, I wished him in advance last night and had a short chat with him on whatsapp. It was mainly about his new found love of cheap fountain pens from taobao ($2 and under) and the love of writing Chinese characters in particular. He has been finding that therapeutic. He showed me three Chinese poems he wrote of which I recognised one by Du Pu.

June has been a difficult month in the US. The death of this black guy George Floyd had started protests, riots and lootings, all over the US. George Floyd died at the hands of a white police officer who put his knee on his neck, thus suffocating him for up to nearly nine minutes while he was in custody, for allegedly using a fake $20 bill. The #blacklivesmatter movement started to spread all over the US and across the world to London, Berlin, Paris, Sydney and wherever people felt for racial injustice. Some protests were peaceful, some turned violent.

I was particularly touched by the Obamas' speeches about how anger should be turned towards something constructive and bridges should be built to bring about unity and a better, more equal society. It is undoubtedly a reality that the world we all inhabit is often a cruel, unkind, unjust and scary place to be in. But we should not succumb to the forces of evil, darkness and hate, but overcome that with good, light and love. God is all that is good. God is my light - this is my primary school's motto, from Marymount Convent Primary. God is love - just look at Jesus who died on that cross, for God so loved the world that he gave us his only begotten Son. Everyone who believes in Jesus will inherit eternal life and live in the love, light and life of the Father.

Alternate Universe

In an alternate universe without Covid-19, mum and I would have been preparing for our US Trip today and flying off for the US tonight. Unfortunately, in the current universe where Covid-19 runs rampant, mum and I are staying put in Meadow Spring @ Yishun instead.

Nonetheless, I am grateful and thankful I have a cosy pad to hunker down in with my mum at Meadow Spring. Thank you, Lord, for providing all things needful. :D

A few days ago on 19 May, my elder goddaughter E, turned 12. Her two godmummies, her mum and younger sis held a Zoom celebration for her in the evening. Good thing ST called to remind me... I was on my couch watching a movie Ready Player One which L had recommended.

12 years have gone by in quite a flash since E has been borned. Praying for God's protection and guidance upon her as she blossoms into a fine, young lady in the next few years.

I am glad E, her mum and sis enjoyed the pizzas, pasta and wings I ordered for E's birthday dinner.

19 May 2020 was also the day which Ravi Zacharias went home to be with our dear Lord. Although I have never heard Ravi speak in person, I have seen clips of him and came to admire his brilliance and compassion as a Christian apologist, another giant of faith of our age, the founder of RZIM - Ravi Zacharias International Ministries, notable for "Making Thinkers Believer, And Believers Think". I wept at his passing and hope to meet him someday in our Lord.

L's 49th Birthday

I had ordered flowers delivery for L's birthday and forgotten about it. Today is her 49th birthday and so glad the flowers brightened her day! :D

She sent me a text message, "Thank you ... What a lovely surprise" to which I replied, "Oh, they have arrived! Happy birthday, L!! Praying for God's presence and richest blessings on this special day and in the year ahead! I thank God for you!" Her response was the sweetest, "Thank you dear sis. Your friendship is truly one of my greatest blessings!" I felt the same, so I had to text back, "Yours is mine too!"

Perhaps, "My sentiments exactly!" would have worked just as well but might have sounded very Sherlock Holmey. Lol.

Still, I truly thank God for this dear sis. I thank God for her wisdom and love, in matters big and small. :D

TF's 64th Birthday

Today being 7 May is TF's 64th. Two years ago, back in 2018, she has gone to be with the Lord, just about two weeks shy of her 62nd. Borned 1956, my cousin TF was 18 years older than me. Somewhat like my age gap with Natalie, who was probably borned when I was around 19 or 20.

This dear cousin whom I had the blessing of travelling on a fly-cruise together with, to Milan and around the Mediterranean, along with mum, Tai-yiyi, uncle MW, and aunty SM's rellies... Back in 2010. That was one memorable trip for both mum and I, Taiyiyi and TF, and uncle MW too.

Doubtless though, more recently, the trip to China, with uncle MW, uncle ML, uncle BW, NN, mum and I was another memorable one, visiting the birth place and homeland of my maternal grandfather, called Xihe in the county of Dabu.

Well, I am just glad I had the opportunity to travel with TF to far flung places and visit one of her favourite places - Oia, Santorini, in Greece along with many other memorable places like Olympia, Pompeii and Taormina with her, having all the fun fine dining experiences.

TF was a fun travelling companion and I remembered we took we-fie together on one of our flights. She mentioned she didn't like the pic because of her tomato face but I honestly thought she looked perfectly fine.

She was also very accommodating to uncle MW when he was not willing to order another bottle of water at an Italian restaurant because he felt it was too costly. In my mind, I was honestly thinking, on a holiday, we should just order what we need. But not uncle MW who was and is super cost conscious and frugal, but I digress. However, as I am older, I guess I have gradually picked up some of uncle MW's habits for better or worse. :P

TF, to me, is a very accommodating cousin who will always try her utmost best to make the people around her feel comfortable. She puts other people's needs before her own. She cares deeply for each one in her immediate and extended family. Therefore, she is deeply missed. Happy 64th Birthday, TF! I know that Jesus is celebrating with you!

Lovely day with mum

Today is a Tuesday and the second day of the Faculty Development Week. In the morning, Jacob gave an interesting lesson on "How to develop a lesson into online components" and gave us eight hacks. Yesterday, Gemma taught us on Instructional Design and gave tips on creating infographics.

I feel truly blessed that mum is staying with me at Meadow Spring during this Circuit Breaker period. Mum has been taking very good care of me. I enjoy mum's company very much. :) Thank you, Lord.

Also, I pray that I can be of encouragement to Fiza's teenage daughter Erica. She has since written a short paragraph for me of a short story of sorts.

An idea

Tonight, Fiza sent her daughter to deliver a box of Popeye's chicken - a chicken drumstick and a chicken tender strip. They were yummy snacks for mum and I. I cannot quite remember her daughter's name but an idea just popped into my mind that perhaps I should offer to coach her daughter English and perhaps her son too, when he returns from his stint at the boys home.

Lord, please lead and guide me if this is an idea from you.

Someone like that

I came across an advice from a 19 year old.

Give a person three days. Be away and see if the person comes back. If the person doesn't, don't be with the person. Why would you want to be with someone that doesn't want you? Why would you want to be with someone like that?

The advice seems perfectly rational except when it comes to matters of the heart, we all know that things are hardly ever rational. I can only hope that with the passing of time, I will learn that when someone chooses to distance himself or herself in a relationship with you, it is less painful to keep pursuing for a reconciliation of sorts and easier to let things be the way it is.

There are 6 billion people in this world. There are many more kind and beautiful souls out there I have yet to meet and discover. There are also old friendships I ought to rekindle and tend to. If there are people who for one reason or other think or feel, that perhaps we should no longer be travelling in this journey of life together no more, then yes, I will need to move on for my own sake and learn to let go gracefully - not to begrudge them, not to wallow in self-pity for the broken relationships, but to thank them in my hearts for the beautiful memories we have shared.

Took up YK's suggestion

I confided in YK about my neighbour's situation and asked her to pray for me, how I may minister to my neighbour. YK suggested that I "share food for a start". So that was just what I did a while ago - a packet of milk, two cans of tuna, a can of sardines, and a few packets of potato chips for her daughter. Hopefully, that has brightened her day!

Neighbour F, Friend D & other stuff

Last night, neighbour F texted me to inform me that she will be on unpaid leave in May and she is looking for part-time jobs. Friend D also texted me to pray for her younger sis Helen who will be undergoing a foot surgery on Friday to remove a cancerous tumour.

These two items were and probably still are somewhat weighing on my mind but I really want to cast my cares unto the Lord. Just as I have encouraged my neighbour and friend not to worry, do not be anxious but to bring every request upon the Lord, that is what I myself want to do as well.

Also, my NIECF old friend R just informed me and our group of friends over the weekend that our friend Angeline Tan has gone to be with the Lord a week ago, 11 April. I remember Angeline as a warm-hearted sister in Christ with friendly smiles and a gentle heart.

This morning as I scanned through my FB feed, came across the news that G's arma (granny) has passed away yesterday (20 Apr 2020), at the ripe old age of 109 years old.

Deaths are hard to deal with and especially during times like these (Circuit Breaker period), where funerals and send offs cannot really be held because of safe distancing measures.

Praying for God's added measure of grace upon the bereaved and their family and friends at such times. Also, praying for my neighbour F and friend D, each going through difficult time of her own. Lord, let your presence be felt, I pray.

Home by Singapore Virtual Choir

I participated in the Singapore Virtual Choir's rendition of Home by submitting a video clip of myself singing the song last Wednesday. I had been patiently waiting for the clip of the final compilation to appear on social media. Yesterday, it was through Rach from my OCFPerth chat group that I knew the clip has surfaced. She sent me a link in the group saying she caught sight of me in the clip! Excitedly, I viewed the clip looking for glimpses of my appearance.

Later on, I realised I was placed right next to the frame of a famed singer, Nathan Hartono, the grandson of TungLok Group, and a rather recent winner of some Chinese Singing Talent Contest. Mum was able to easily spot me because of him too. Interestingly, my first reactions was proud and happy to have taken part in the history making initiative of singing "Home" with over 900 Singaporeans in this first ever Singapore Virtual Choir organised by the Voices of Singapore, conducted by Darius Lim. However, soon after, my response turned to feeling honoured and happy, and then honoured and humbled. :)

NN called to wish Mum

a Happy Belated Birthday today. She was apologetic about missing the Zoom party last night.

Mum had a good conversation with her and hopefully we will be able to feed her and her dad sometime.

Few hours of sleep

I barely had five hours of sleep this morning but thankfully I am functioning okay for the day. It is slightly past four in the afternoon now. I had lunch slightly past noon. Breakfast was the usual toast with butter, peanut butter, and blueberry jam followed by a hard boiled egg drizzled with dark soya sauce, a few drops of sesame oil and dashes of pepper, with a cuppa coffee with milk sans sugar.

I communicated with KW via Whatsapp in the morning after texting M. Sorted out the digital books availability from our textbook list for next semester on DTL and M will follow up with the rest. Mainly, I followed up with M. M enquired about exams for this semester and I had to check with KW. Apparently, M wanted to close library earlier than the usual end of semester. KW was very astute in asking why M wanted to know about exam dates. In the end, M had to consult with B who is her supervisor as it was not her decision alone to make. I am so glad that KW is so wise. I guess M is just taking her own initiative and not necessarily doing anything "bad" but some decisions are best made in consultation with one's supervisor who will in all likelihood have a bigger picture of things in place.

Interestingly, C text me about decentralised Chapel for admin staff. I was once again somewhat caught in between the supervisors N/L and the Chaplain. Hopefully, things have been resolved among themselves.I pray for God's wisdom upon all my co-workers at EAST. Lord, may Your Spirit lead and guide us all.

Communication Restored With D

I sent D some Good Friday greetings and received some response from her on Holy Saturday. Since then, our communication has resumed. I'm glad she has moved past the fact that I could not meet her for dinner when the Covid-19 situation was just starting to worsen. Hopefully, all's good now. :D

Reading an old entry

from May 31, 2017. It was about moving on.

Reading that reminded me of a text I sent to Brenz a few days ago. She mentioned she really liked the BB series stickers on Whatsapp and I revealed that I liked it too. But I missed the person who introduced that sticker series to me. Nonetheles, I believe that person has moved on and so must I.

Upon reflection, I am not even sure if that person was ever really interested in knowing me more as a person beyond platonic friendship. Sure, he seemed to be teasing me a lot. Occasionally he would buy me food but he does that for others too. I must have been reading too much into his words and actions. In any case, now that he is completely silent, it is good.

There is nothing for me to interpret or misinterpret anymore. Unlike God, a man's silence is equivalent to a man's absence, in one's life. However, it is not so for God. God may be silent but God is most certainly never absent in my life. It is either my life, mind or heart is too noisy and I cannot hear Him speak, or it is that God chooses to remain silent until I am ready for His word, to listen to His still, small voice.

Post Mum's Birthday

What an unusual 14 April 2020 it has been. This must have been one of mum's quietest birthdays by far as we had breakfast, lunch and dinner at home.

For breakfast, we had toasts, hard boiled eggs and coffee with milk. Lunch was soup noodles with baby abalones. Dinner was Popeyes fried chicken with mashed potatoes, fried garlic rice, some fries and a biscuit (American styled - which tasted more muffin like) with strawberry jam.

Morning, I had a zoom meeting with KW to sort out some work matters. Worked through a PowerPoint presentation in the afternoon. After I decided I had done enough work for the day, I took mum out for super-marketing as her birthday treat, before her birthday dinner.

In the morning, mum had Whatsapp voice greetings from her precious grandson J, her eldest daughter, her precious daughter-in-law. She missed out hearing from her son who was grumpily helping out her grandson with his home-based learning, as shown in a pic by B. Somehow, from that pic, one can gather the dynamics of their family - the wife seemed to be domineering, My question is why is she taking a pic of my brother sitting next to my nephew, instead of she herself helping J? Is she less capable of helping my nephew? Perhaps she is being "more manipulative"? In any case, that is my brother's lot since it was his choice of life partner? Also, during 8pm Zoom party which we held in the evening, brother's family missed out as sis-in-law had to deal with work stuff.

I do wonder if my mum feels somewhat disappointed with my brother - no voice greetings from him, no happy birthday greetings, no Zoom appearance. What happened, really? I guess mum took comfort in that they had already visited in person over the weekend. But this year, on her actual birthday, my brother has been quite a disappointment, at least IMHO. Even if mum did not mind at all. Even over Zoom, we had eldest cousin, P&P, Mf & TYY, YH's family and my sis showing up. Mum commented that Aunty J did not call. That is quite true but then again, mum seldom called Aunty J on her birthday too. Haha!

Upon reflection, I ought to cut bro and sis-in-law some slack like mum does. :P If mum does not mind, then I should not mind too. After all, love covers all wrongs.

Start of Circuit Breaker - 7 April

Today is the beginning of the "Circuit Breaker" which the Singapore government has implemented in Singapore where most offices are shut and tomorrow, all schools will be closed. This will be so till 4th May. This is an attempt at a soft lockdown in Singapore so as to arrest the speed of infection of Covid-19.

Everyone from EAST is working from home for a month, but not just EAST, almost everyone in non-essential services in Singapore. This is an unprecedented move by the government but these are unprecedented times in Singapore and around the world. The headlines in world news this morning is the admission of the British Prime Minister Boris Johnson to an Intensive Care Unit after more than 10 days of being infected with Covid-19. His symptoms has since worsened which is most unfortunate, as he had previously believed in "herd immunity" for his nation.

Even Donald Trump, the USA President who had in the initial days called Covid-19 a hoax and compared it to a common flu is now facing the realities of the pandemic in his country which has a death toll of over 10,000 in just over two months or so. USA has the widest number of infections in the world now. While China, being the first country that had to deal with the infections is now mostly out of the woods with relatively few cases of infections and very low death rate now. What a topsy-turvy world we live in.

Unusually Emotional Day

Due to the rising cases of infected persons with Covid-19 in Singapore in the recent days, my sis and mum have been getting all the more anxious about me going into the office to work still, up to yesterday. There was an ALT Zoom Meeting Zoom on Friday afternoon and I had requested to work from home, first from J and subsequently from KW. Initially, J had agreed, but had asked me to check with KW. Upon checking with KW, he had requested for me to Zoom from the office instead of home due to the chart that J had submitted to HR which stated that I was supposed to report to the office on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. I felt disappointed to the point of tears but did not express so in my texts communication when I was denied working from home on Friday. Of course, it did not help that both my sis and mum were anxious for me too, due to the pre-existing health conditions I have. Sis wanted to communicate with my direct supervisors, J and KW. She subsequently sent very strongly worded texts to J and J contacted me to have a Zoom video conference on Friday morning.

Friday morning, the Zoom video conference started off okay but ended off with an emotional outburst from me. J pointed out all my sins, not coming to work on time, but at 10.30-11am, making errors at work, being on social media for my own consumption more than for official purposes. It was his reasons for not allowing me to work from home and wanting growth for me as a person. These were the main faults that I can recall him pointing out to me, citing that I lack discipline and that is why I should be working in the office. My outbursts came about after his "truth-telling".

On Friday evening, I managed to apologise for my emotional outburst via whatsapp texts. KW kindly responded but no word from J yet. He probably needs more headspace before he can respond, with the "circuit-breaker" announcement by PM Lee at 4pm to the nation that came out. All non-essential services offices are to be mandatorily closed from next Tuesday, and all schools to be on home-based learning from next Wednesday till 4th May.

As YL said, God has answered my prayer through PM Lee.

Updates about K, one year on

Recently, I came across a group pic taken with K, YL, C and LL outside Universal Studios, over a decade ago. Such a lot have occurred in all our lives over the years but I think, especially so in the past year for K. She had given birth to a baby girl Joyance with abnormalities and the baby passed away in less than half a year I think. But I believe her marriage with her husband Chin Khoon (they just celebrated their 2nd wedding anniversary yesterday) is the stronger for the recent trials they had been through together. God has a mysterious way of working out everything for the good of those who love Him and are called by His name.

Fountain Pen Refills

I spent a good half an hour looking for my fountain pen's refills at 1am last night. Alas, I had no recollection of where I kept them. I pray that I will find them soon as my fountain pen has run dry.

Edit (4 Apr): I went to buy 3 packs of refills in three colours in the end, using a $15 BHG voucher.

Shared Mum's Braised Pork Recipe

I posted mum's cooking on my IG tonight and MeiYen asked for mum's braised pork recipe. Interestingly, mum was ever ready to share her secret recipe with my friend in the US. Therefore, I simply typed up the recipe in my IG post's reply to her. Hopefully, MeiYen gets to try it out and I do too, someday!

Stonewalled

In recent days, I feel that I have been stonewalled by B and D.

The last text response I received from B was, "I am now overseas." Fair enough that I found out he went on a diving trip but he was able to share pics with uncle L and have chats with uncle L but not me. Thinking back, with regards to our online mobile communication, I might have offended him by sending too many pics and clips that his phone memory could not handle and due to the manner in which he communicated/threatened to leave the chat, I left the chat group first. Also, he gave me some discount pamphlet which I had passed on to EK and I do not know if he felt offended by that or not. Perhaps he just need time to sort out his own time and space and emotions. Likewise, I should do that. It is good for me to be detached from him, before any deeper bonds are formed.

Meanwhile, D and I have not been able to meet up regularly for lunch this year anymore. Partly, due to the fact that she is working at her father's office and her hours are no longer as flexible. Also, due to the developing COVID-19 situation since 23 January, I have been going home for lunch. It was due to me calling off an agreed upon evening appointment, due to mum and sis's worries and concerns because of the COVID-19 situation, that left D fuming. Since then, she has ignored my texts. Perhaps, it is also time for me to re-evaluate my friendship with her. Good time for me to detach myself from deeper bonds with her too.

Perhaps it is time in my life to make space for more positive people who will be more up-lifting, inspiring, people I look up to, rather than to be around people whom I know "sorta admire" me for one reason or another. Better yet, I hope to find relationships that are mutually engaging and up-lifting and less one-sided. I guess in life, it may never be quite possible to have relationships without a trace of any abusive traits, partly because I may be triggered to be the abusive party or I may trigger the other person to be abusive. But, I still must try to be Christlike and find people who aspire to be like Jesus to me, so I can be like Jesus to them too. Even if my friends do not aspire to be Christlike, I need to love them still, no? But at certain junctures, I need space, to avoid getting unnecessarily wounded or hurt. I need to learn to be wise with my limited time and energy.

Dec, Jan, Feb

Just realised that I had not a single post since December before my post in March. I missed my usual Birthday Post, Christmas Post, New Year's Post. I wonder what happened?

Nonetheless, I had a very lovely birthday tea at the newly refurbished Raffles Hotel with mum on my actual birthday, my 45th. I met up with V who treated me to a very sumptuous, scrumptious and all round yummillicious Cantonese set lunch for two at Yan, a Cantonese restaurant at the National Gallery. It was an exquisite lunch experience which we both enjoyed tremendously. I shared the experience with C who then went on to give her dad a birthday treat at the same restaurant a couple of weeks later. Even though I was glad she was also able to enjoy a good lunch with her dad, I felt a strange sense of a unique experience being imitated or copied. Perhaps on the positive note, imitation is the highest flattery. Or could it be that God is teaching me to be 1) more big-hearted 2) more discerning who I share my experiences with 3) both.

Well, then V treated me to a baking class at ABC cooking studios near Christmas as a Christmas gift. When I shared pics of the chantilly snow white cake I baked, B requested for the recipe. I was happy to share, although she wanted a PDF version rather than a screenshot of it. Oh well, I try my best to please a good buddy. Also, I felt a bit bad that I got to go for it, but she did not, as she wanted to attend the class with her teenage son but somehow mixed up the dates. I wonder why I feel bad. I should not feel responsible for other people's mistakes but sometimes I do. Too responsible for the wrong things.

During year end, my friend IT and I had a sleepover in JB. Oh, before that, Lu had a sleepover at Meadow Spring and it was really lovely. She read me "The Tailor of Gloucester" by Beatrix Potter as a bedtime story. We were both twinning in Totoro tees as sleepwear as well. It was just wonderful to be able to have heart to heart talk with a dear sister and confidante in Christ. Someone wiser, kinder, more Christlike than me. Someone I look up to. :) Someone I'll pray the best for with all of my heart too. But I digress. The sleepover in JB with IT was great fun too. We had coconut drinks with my mum by a roadside stall near my home and we went to a new mall near my home too. Best part was she was not intimidated by Brownie at all. :)

Jan went by pretty quickly as I recalled. I entered the year 2020 together with G and YL again at Faith Methodist Church's watchnight service. We had New Year's Day lunch at the cafeteria of Seletar Airport. Some local indian muslim cuisine we had. I think G had muturbak for the first time in her life! The kumpung fried rice was so good that both G and YL decided to dapao back that day. Lunch was C+G (Cheap and Good)!

CNY came along in the end of Jan as did the threat of Coronavirus which soon became known as COVID-19. By Feb, I requested to Work From Home for a week, till things calmed down a bit. And it is already the first week of March now! How fast!

Be with someone

I came across this quote, "Be with someone
who will sit with you and say, "Let's fix this" instead of
being a child and ignoring you.

Someone came to mind straightaway. Someone who has been ignoring me.

I really should take this as a sign that this someone is "being a child" and is not someone I should be with.